A simple but effective tool to consider where you are in life and where you want to get to.
What is the Identity Wheel?
Life happens. We never stand still at work, home, family, or other contexts. Our direction changes, and we continue working through our lives, but how often do we stop to consider where we are and whether that's where we planned for it to be?
As a coach, many conversations start with a general discomfort about where my clients are in their lives. However, the discussion is often unstructured, without a way to quickly bring focus and attention to the critical issues. When you spend a lot of time coaching, you start to notice the patterns and what could be a long process of pinning down actionable points becomes easier when you have a framework for the discussion.
My framework is the Identity Wheel, based on the most common areas of life that require attention. It could be more academic and perfect, but it is free to use in your practice and to develop further. If you do use it, please let me know.
If you practice the Relationship Away Day, it's a great structure for that. Using it when changing jobs is also critical, so its sibling, the Job Wheel, integrates this work.
How is the Identity Wheel structured?
The Identity Wheel's structure is simple and allows us to review different elements of who we are, scoring them simply and consistently. Our scores can change each time we run the tool, reflecting how life evolves.
To score yourself, print out a copy of the Wheel, get your colouring pens out and fill in the segments using the following guide for each level:
There's a big issue here, and I need to do something now
Things aren't great, and it's a priority to do something
On the whole, things are OK, but there are improvements I can make
I'm doing well, and no significant change is needed
It's not scientific, but it is meaningful.
To help you complete your Identity Wheel, a short description of each segment is below:
What's in the Identity Wheel?
The identity wheel has the following segments:
Your Health
The older you get, the more extensive the role health plays in your life, but this is also true if you have a chronic health condition. The health segment breaks down into the following categories:
Diet
Sleep
Weight
Mental Health
Exercise
Management of long-term conditions.
All of these are interconnected, and ignoring one element can negatively impact the others. Choose the lowest score and run with that — don't choose the average or the best score.
Your Partner
When you're young, you think about setting up a home with your partner, having children, and building a life together. Different questions emerge as you move through life, into becoming a Secondhalfer and on towards Third Age living:
How will you build upon your life when the children leave home?
Who will wipe your bottom when you can't?
Can you afford to retire together, and do you want to?
Have you written a will upon which you both agree?
Have you set up Power of Attorney for each other?
Is one partner at risk of an earlier death, and how will you manage that?
Will one partner require care, and how will you pay for that?
Alongside health, your partner is critically important. If you're single, that doesn't mean you can ignore this segment, but your choice of friends that you can trust and be with becomes more important.
Your Career
Your career is the fuel you need to run your life. Unless you're lucky enough to be independently wealthy and fabulously enriched, your career is over half the time you're awake and provides the funding for everything else, so it is a very close third. Once your career is in good shape, there's plenty more to do.
Money
Money is important because it funds your retirement. It also supports "Project You" and the other activities you need to achieve retirement, so be prepared to budget, reprioritise spending, and invest in yourself.
Your Home
A great home for your working life may differ from a great home for your family life, which may also not be a great home for your retirement, particularly if you have long-term health conditions.
Consider staying where you are, downsizing, moving, or buying a home now to minimise your outgoings later.
You may need to plan for long-term medical conditions or build a full-time office or workshop. Therefore, thinking about your home is an important part of your assessment.
Your Personal Development
You may have trained and learned your trade a long time ago. You might have studied since then, but a computer science degree from 2005 will likely be less relevant today. Therefore, your strongest asset will be a well-developed mind, in learning mode and with some up-to-date qualifications or certifications.
It's never too early to start getting back into training the brain to take in lots of new information. Whether your next role is a complete career change, in the same company or elsewhere, you will not regret developing yourself. Sacrificing a cappuccino daily is enough to pay for an up-to-date certification if that's what you choose. A meal out per week could pay for you to retrain entirely.
Your Bucket List
We all have them, but few of us manage them. In short, start emptying your bucket list. Having a full bucket list but not having ticked off any of it is a widespread regret we all have in later life. While you still have the income and health, get prioritising.
Your Family and Friends
Family and friends are essential for your well-being, yet they can take up much of your time and income. Sometimes, friendships and family are draining, and sometimes, relationship toxicity can drain you.
Like everything else, balance is essential for "Project You" to be successful. Do you have positive and supportive relationships at home and in friendship circles? If not, you won't thrive.
Your Anchors
When you're younger, you're perfectly mobile. Spending a year here and a few years there is great — it broadens the mind, broadens your skills and helps you climb the career ladder. But what about your later years? Do you live in your community or simply have a house there?
When you're no longer jet-setting for work, do you have ties where you live or want to live? If you have medical needs, can they be met where you are? Will you qualify for state benefits where you plan to retire? Whilst you have time to prepare, you should. You must have paid taxes for 30 years in the UK to qualify for a full state pension. What about where you live?
In your world, you need anchors.
Completing the Identity Wheel
Spend 10–15 minutes completing the Wheel now, based on a high-level judgement of each segment. Shade each segment to 1, 2, 3, or 4 according to your decision. I have never met a 9x4 person who is happy in all areas; be honest!
A very revealing second exercise is to get your partner or someone who knows you well to fill it in, too. How closely do these two align? What do they see that you don't, or what do you know that they don't?
Evaluating your Identity Wheel
When you've completed the Wheel, please step back and look at it. Is it balanced or uneven? Does one segment stand out as lacking? Everyone's Wheel will be different; it's like your own fingerprint. But when you've completed it, you will be in a better position to:
Talk about your own life, both the good and the bad, in a structured way
Identify where you need to make changes and how urgently
Prioritise the changes you need to make in your life
Your Wheel is your beacon — you should keep a copy with you wherever you go and return to it regularly, considering where you are at that time.
It acts as your guide and helps you ensure that you're focusing on the right things. I have often met people with the perfect career, but they are single and lonely. Or, they have a good job, a loving partner, and a great family—but die of an early heart attack. Perfection is not the objective; balance is.
Please let me know how you get on with your own Identity Wheel.
Notes
[1] A Secondhalfer is someone in the second half of their career — a critical time to reflect and plan for retirement.
When we started having regular Relationship Away Days we realised that without some direction, they weren't as effective as we knew they could be. We researched the topic, and there are many tools to help guide holistic discussions, but they are (in our view) incomplete, and all are copyrighted. We created our own, the Identity Wheel, and offer it here for you to use without royalties, provided that you link back to this page.
There's a career-oriented version of the Wheel here.
Last updated: July 2024
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